My Thumping Drums Come Through

Right. It's all about perpetual learning about oneself. Take some fucking notes here people. For instance, today I learned that I can eat 50,000 chocolate chip cookies from Subway in one sitting. I hear you now, "You are crazy Yossarian." Well my response is fuck you. I know my body and what it is capable of doing. Now you are thinking, yeah but you'll end up in a diabetic coma, a ripped open stomach and internal bleeding. My respone is, your fucking point? Them shits is good and I can eat the shit out of them.
What brought on this quest of self awareness you ask? It seems someone was kind enough to invite yours truly to a certain 10 year high school reunion. So what I did was, I dug out the old yearbooks, or reflectors as the cadse may or may not be. But it is. This brought me to know myself in a more productive way than I usually get to know myself at night. You know, with Internet porn and a sock.
It seems I was very funny. Your honnor, I'd like to present my yearbooks as exhibit 450 Trillion B as to how girls ar liars when they say they wish to bone a funny guy.
I digress. If everything I can discern is correct, which it has to be since I am never wrong, then I was funny and told a lot of jokes. Chiefly I told a joke involving people asking me if I am a tree. Here is the real funny part: NO ONE WROTE THE DAMN PUNCHLINE!!!!! So I have no clue as to what the hell I was even joking about back then.
I am also a crazy guy. I am not sure what this means, but if those mother fuckers were qualified to assess my mental state, I will eat my hat after I kill them.
It would also seem I have sexy, cool, pretty and beautiful eyes.
I must admit, I don't remember half these people. This is funny as most people seem to have believed I would make nothing of myself, and I think they might be right.
I also wore some pretty kick ass clothes back in the day. No. I didn't. But I never realized how huge I was. I was playing ball and constantly working out and I was a beast.
I was apparently going steady with like 5 women in high school. I think this came about because every time I talked to a female I would say something to the affect of, "So. You want to go steady now like Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski?"
I mainly learned I don't remember a damn thing about high school, I still can't speak spanish and I won't be attending my reunion. Because I think Sepheroth is putting this reunion together, and that's evil.


***Props to who ever hooked up Yossarian on Wikipedia.***