Top Of The Morning To You
Right. This shit doesn't even deserve a picture. This shit sucks. I had this shit I was going to write about and it was going to be the bomb. But now I forgot it because I went and did something dumb. Smoke crack? No even dumber.
I went and watched Superman.
I am usually pissed I can't fly. Usually on any given day, on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not pissed and 10 being the most pissed anyone has ever been, I am usually a 7.5 because I can't fly. After watching Superman, I'm at like a 47.
But fuck that.
Two things.
Superman now fights for truth, justice and other stuff. Other stuff? What? I'm the first to admit I have been brain-washed by the Army. But fuck that. It's the American way. That's what that mother fucker fights for. There was a whole series done on what would have happened had he landed in Russia. It was good shit. Go read it. But that was an alternate universe and in the one we all live in, Superman fights for the god damned American way.,
Superman has a son. A fucking child? Concived, carried, birthed and raised by Lois Lane. What? Fuck that. Fuck that up its stupid ass. A human woman taking a load from Superman. I need a beer.
On the bright side, the movie gave me 2 1/2 hours to think about some next level type shit. Mainly, who, of my friends, would be whom in the comicbook world. I think Unkind K is easy, as he is bald, smart, rich and always hatching nefarious plots to rue the whirl, would be Lex Luthor. Which is braggable.
Cocaine, with his brain, jumping ability and knickname of Tiger would have to be Spiderman. J would be Kingpin, or Mr. Fisk to you. I don't know who I'd be, but hopefully he gets laid a lot more.
The movie industry owes me $123,982.23 that I've spent on shitty movies.
I went and watched Superman.
I am usually pissed I can't fly. Usually on any given day, on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not pissed and 10 being the most pissed anyone has ever been, I am usually a 7.5 because I can't fly. After watching Superman, I'm at like a 47.
But fuck that.
Two things.
Superman now fights for truth, justice and other stuff. Other stuff? What? I'm the first to admit I have been brain-washed by the Army. But fuck that. It's the American way. That's what that mother fucker fights for. There was a whole series done on what would have happened had he landed in Russia. It was good shit. Go read it. But that was an alternate universe and in the one we all live in, Superman fights for the god damned American way.,
Superman has a son. A fucking child? Concived, carried, birthed and raised by Lois Lane. What? Fuck that. Fuck that up its stupid ass. A human woman taking a load from Superman. I need a beer.
On the bright side, the movie gave me 2 1/2 hours to think about some next level type shit. Mainly, who, of my friends, would be whom in the comicbook world. I think Unkind K is easy, as he is bald, smart, rich and always hatching nefarious plots to rue the whirl, would be Lex Luthor. Which is braggable.
Cocaine, with his brain, jumping ability and knickname of Tiger would have to be Spiderman. J would be Kingpin, or Mr. Fisk to you. I don't know who I'd be, but hopefully he gets laid a lot more.
The movie industry owes me $123,982.23 that I've spent on shitty movies.
posted by Yossarian at 10:03 PM
2 Comments:
i don't know which superhero I'd want to bone me. But that's a topic i will now ponder.
and now i am also mighty pissed i can't fly. thanks a lot.
douglas adams said that to fly you only have to think of something completely different in the midst of falling. you should try that sometime.
they really put supermans kid in the new movie?? wow. we were just watching mallrats last night when the debate came up over the super-human load and whether ms. lane could handle it. right on yossarian, lol
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