Sample Some Email Bitch

Right. I cannot stand Oprah. What the hell has she done to help anyone named Yossarian? Nothing. I'm sure she helps other people. But I can give a frog's fat ass about other people. I care about me. And she refuses to pay off my student loans. So this is how I repay her generosity. Bitch.
This explains so much.
This scares the piss out of me.
Want to read a story about global warming? Good. Today it was close to 5 trillion degrees. And I am sitting in the office when I say, "I'm sweating like a stuck pig." This dipshit staff sergeant says, "Pigs don't sweat sir." I reply with, "Thanks Bill Nye." Everyone got really upset that I called him the science guy.
Really? I mean? Seriously? I call the guy ,"Assy McFergusson" close to every 12 seconds and no one complains. Most even laugh. But I call the guy Bill Nye and it was like I had kicked the shit out of his kids.
The point is global warming is bullshit and hot weather makes people insane.
As an officer and leader of men, as a man who loves his job so much, I live by the belief that if I do not piss off at least 3 Non Commissioned Officers because of my uniform a day, then I failed that day in the Army.
NCOs love to correct shit and know regulations because they can't think for themselves. I love pissing those guys off. Yeah I wear my fucking hat wrong. Yes, I wear my hat inside. Sharp eye I have my hands in my pockets. Fuck off. I do this because I do what I want.
I think we were born in the wrong time in history.
There was a promise once believed in. A promise I will write about later. I promise.