Dear Dear Friend

Right. Yes security guard my windows are tinted. Yes that means I am a terrorist. I fully plan on blowing up buildings. Have you seen my attic? I have bombs there with the names of elected officials on them. You make my day better security guard. Thank you for not letting me bring any booze onto the plane or into the ball game. Now I have to pay your obnoxious prices to pay for your salary when all I really wanted was to drink cheaply. I fucking hate security guards.
Short post today. I just want to say something I find disgusting.
Today I was speaking with this captain about Iraq. He was all happy to be going again and real proud to serve and all. I dig it. Good for you. You like the Army. I dig it. You believe in the cause. Say word. But he said something I find troubling. He said, "You know Yossarian. I really believe everything happens for a reason. My first time in Iraq a mortar went off and my friend standing right next to me took shrapnel and died. I didn't have a scratch. I believe everything happens for a reason."
What the fuck does that mean? That guy deserved to die? You are a better Christian? What the fuck? I appreciate that you are trying to tell me that me going to Iraq will have a purpose. I really do. But what the fuck. That was your friend. And I guess you just wiped his brain off your helmet and went about your day because you lived for a reason. I assume that reason was to bother the piss out of me. Mission accomplished. You can get blown up now. Your reason to live has been fulfilled.