Take The Train Take The Train

Right. Rush, you silly fat bastard. If Mr. Tuttle from Saved by the Bell and the fat kid from Teen Wolf had a baby, you would be it Rush. I hate you because of all the obvious reasons. You know, your demagoguery and all. But also because you are plain annoying and furthering a failing system in which the only difference between the parties is the reason each wants to take our freedom. You suck and I hate you and when America decides to scrape the manure off itself to see how green our grass is, you will be the first dung heap to go.
I hate the bloody Army. I go out and give my blood, sweat, tears, saliva, sperm snot, shit, piss, throw-up, everything I got and it simply is never good enough. So I have a whole new stratagem - never try.
Billy Idol is my myspace friend. That doesn't say a lot for him, but it speaks volumes for how much cooler I am than you.
My friend, the one with cancer, he died today. My grandmother, before she died, told me that people die because God needs soldiers for his Army. I suppose he needed a General this time. That is if you believe in my grandmother's theory, which I don't, because it's dumb. God kills us because he can. He has killed way more people than I ever will, or can. He just does what he wants and then rewards douche bags for date rape and punishes dudes just trying to make it honest in the douche-rewarded society. Way to go God. I sometimes think the reason you refuse to come back is because you can't look people in the eye for your actions.
In other news, German food blows. That's not new news, if you read this ever, but if today is your first day in the world of Yossarian, then breaking news, German food blows.
I have a sudden desire to bone every woman I see. It matters not her age, weight, or level of attractiveness. I just want to bone. It is pretty much the greatest feeling ever.